Washington…
I've been back in Washington for about a week now. I was sick on the plane ride back and had so many bug bites you could hardly see my legs through them! Then we had to do the Christmas thing with my mom's side of the family, then my dad's the following day. I felt nauseous and nervous and I really was starting to think I was pregnant which was scary and humiliating. I had to tell my mom because I had no way to get to a drug store without her. She bought me a test and it was negative and I was instantly ashamed. How embarrassing to have to admit to my mother that I was possibly pregnant. I didn't even tell Jalal until after I knew it was negative and then he got mad at me for not telling him sooner. Anyways then my family left me over here for fear that the roads might close before it was time to go back to school. I have been at Jalal's house for days while he goes to work and I am going a little bit soft in the head. I went out one day but the walk to the bus stop is more than two miles in the deep slushy snow. It's only worth it once in a great while. I bought some fruit and yarn for knitting hats for my younger brother and his friends. Since then I have been pretty lonely. Jalal and I went to his brother's (and his girflfriend's) house for dinner on New Years Eve and played cards. We drank apple cider because they are both recovering alcoholics, and went home at 3 AM. Slept without so much as a word to eachother, I felt so married. I've been staying home and cleaning while he goes to work and it really is depressing. I can't imagine living in a time when I would have been expected to do that for the rest of my life.
I have to move in to my new home this weekend and I am really stressed out about it. I don't have a truck or anything just a small car and I think I will have to carry my bed the few blocks to the new house, which will probably be hellish. Oh well though, it's worth it to me…
I've been thinking about what to major in and what I want to do with my life. It's all very boring.
